Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Penguin

Another from Zoologic, Jim Cornish

The penguin is a natty bird,
what's called an apterix.
Which means it doesn't use its wings
but it can do other tricks.
It swims and dives; it fishes
using neither bait nor hook.
It knows just how to catch fish
without learning from a book.
Penguins always dress for dinner
though they don't sit at the table
since they don't bend in the middle
so they really are not able.
They don't want a bowl of soup
nor roast beef with rich brown gravy.
They only want the fish course,
nice and fresh and raw and savory

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Kangaroo, from Jim's archive

In speaking to a kangaroo
always try to be polite
Avoid any mention of a stew
or you’ll end up in a fight.
For roos are very sensitive
on the subject of their tails
and unless you’re very cautious,
they’ll rip out your entrails
. And if you should be fool enough
to mention roo tail soup
you’d better have a motor bike
or he’ll send you for a loop
and you’ll wind up in a gum tree
from a drop-kick by the bounder,
thinking on mature reflection
that your judgment could be sounder.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Secretary travels homeward and back

The Secretary travels
Originally uploaded by FranSb.
After her long talk with the Great White Owl, the Secretary knew that she must go to her childhood home for a time before the meeting with Baba. When she called for a team, Mehitabel refused point blank to wear those ear wings again but the twins, Bebe and Deneba volunteered as one to pull the light cutter as it was also provided with a large set of #2 special new-model drive wings and the little team were proud of their reputations for being ultra modern high flyers. The Secretary put on the magic dark-for-snow glasses, her big fur mittens and her thinking-this-is-fine cap. They flew north to the end-of-the-line at le Pas for a visit with the Secretary's old classmates and back again without too much trouble although even the most patient donkeys were a bit miffed when they had to thaw their morning tea but the Sec. had some mintys in her big satchell which made the twins happy. The Sec. was very glad she had found the old china footwarmer and had it under the big dooner. I hope everyone will wait for us at Baba's and will appreciate the ice blocks we are bringing back. Yours as always, The Secretary of the Donkeys' Union

Poems from Zoologic by Jim Cornish

The Secretary has been delving through her archives and so, with your permission
posts this poem, one of a series, in hopes that someone will provide a suitable
illustration. (Perhaps this one is an object lesson for certain Union Members who
have had a tendency to get their employers to walk!) Yours, from the Office

The lion is a lazy beast,
he loafs around all day
and sends his missus out to hunt
then comes and eats the prey.
He's not much use around the den,
he never lifts a paw
and when it comes to training cubs,
all he can do is roar.
The lioness tries with might and mane
to get him off his rump
and act a bit like king of beasts
and not some useless lump.
She says that he should show the pride
that lions are renowned for,
instead of lyin' round all day
that not what he was crowned for.